I’m Not Going to Babysit Your Alcoholic Father While You’re Vacationing in Turkey!
Vera was washing the dishes after dinner when her husband wrapped his arms around her from behind. Normally, the gesture would have felt pleasant, but today it somehow made her uneasy. After seventeen years of marriage, she had learned to sense when Igor was up to something.
“Verochka, remember I told you about the vacation?” His voice was suspiciously sweet.
“I remember. We wanted to go to Sochi for the May holidays,” she replied, continuing to scrub the frying pan without turning around.
“Well, here’s the thing…” Igor released her and sat down at the table. “The guys from work organized a trip to Turkey. All-inclusive, great hotel, two whole weeks.”
Vera turned around, drying her hands on a towel.
“Wonderful! I’ve always wanted to see Turkey. When are we going?”
Igor hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck—a sure sign that he was about to say something unpleasant.
“You see, it’s… it’s a guys’ trip. Only employees from the department. No wives.”
So that’s what this is about, Vera thought, feeling the familiar sting of disappointment. Again.
“So you’re going away to relax while I stay home?” she asked, trying to keep her voice calm.
“Vera, don’t be upset.” Igor stood and approached her. “It’s a work trip, team building. Management is paying for it, so it would be awkward to refuse.”
“Team building at a five-star all-inclusive hotel?” Vera raised a skeptical eyebrow.
“Well, yes. Mixing business with pleasure.” He smiled awkwardly. “But in the summer, the two of us will go wherever you want. I promise.”
Vera had heard those promises before. He had made the same promise the previous summer, but in the end they had gone nowhere—first there was work, then they needed money to repair the car, then something else came up.
“All right,” she sighed. “When are you leaving?”
“In two weeks, on May third.” Igor relaxed, deciding the storm had passed. “Thanks for understanding, kitten.”
He kissed her on the cheek and went into the living room to watch football. Vera remained in the kitchen, feeling the bitterness of resentment.
Understanding kitten. Always understanding. But when is anyone going to understand me?
The following days passed in their usual bustle. Igor enthusiastically prepared for the trip. He bought new swimming trunks and sunscreen and even made an appointment at the barber shop. Vera watched his preparations with growing irritation.
On Friday evening, a week before Igor’s departure, the doorbell rang. Vera opened the door and groaned inwardly.
Her father-in-law, Nikolai Petrovich, stood on the threshold, swaying slightly and reeking strongly of alcohol.
“Verka, sweetheart, let the old man in,” he muttered, grabbing the doorframe for support.
“Nikolai Petrovich, you’ve been drinking again…” she began, but he had already squeezed past her into the apartment.
“Where’s my son? Igoryok!” her father-in-law shouted as he headed toward the living room.
Igor rushed out, saw his father, and frowned.
“Dad, have you been drinking again? We talked about this!”
“Talked about it,” Nikolai Petrovich mocked as he collapsed onto the sofa. “Who talked about what? Nobody agreed on anything with me! I’m a grown man. I’ll do whatever I want!”
Vera leaned wearily against the wall.
This was already the fourth time her drunken father-in-law had shown up that month. After his wife had died three years earlier, Nikolai Petrovich had completely fallen apart. He drank constantly, turned his apartment into a pigsty, and quarreled with all his neighbors.
“Vera, make Dad some strong tea,” Igor asked while trying to make his father more comfortable.
Of course. Make it, cook it, bring it, clean it up, Vera mocked him silently, but went into the kitchen anyway.
When she returned with the tea, her father-in-law was already dozing on the sofa while Igor sat beside him looking gloomy.
“We need to do something,” Igor said. “This can’t go on.”
“Maybe a rehabilitation center?” Vera suggested.
“He won’t agree. I’ve already suggested it.” Igor rubbed his face with his hands. “Listen, what if… Vera, I have an idea.”
Vera immediately became wary. Igor’s ideas rarely meant anything good for her.
“While I’m in Turkey, maybe Dad could stay with us? Under your supervision, he definitely won’t drink. When I come back, we’ll decide together what to do next.”
Vera froze, still holding the cup, unable to believe what she had heard.
“You want me to babysit your alcoholic father for two weeks while you sunbathe in Turkey?”
“Not babysit him. Just keep an eye on him.” Igor tried to take her hand, but she pulled it away. “Vera, who else is going to help? My sister is in America. We don’t have any other relatives.”
“What about his friends? His neighbors?” Vera felt indignation beginning to boil inside her.
“Everyone has turned their backs on him,” Igor sighed. “He’s driven everyone crazy with his drinking. We’re the only ones left.”
The next morning Vera woke up with a heavy head. Her father-in-law was still asleep on the sofa, snoring and filling the room with a sour smell.
Igor had already left for work, leaving a note:
“Thanks for taking Dad in. We’ll talk tonight. Love you.”
Taking him in? I took him in? Vera crumpled the note. As though I had a choice!
She made herself a strong coffee and sat at the kitchen table, considering the situation.
Put up with her drunken father-in-law for two weeks while her husband had fun with his friends?
That was too much.
Her phone rang. It was her friend Larisa.
“Hey! How are you? Getting ready for the May holidays?”
“I wish.”
Vera told her about her husband’s plans.
“Wait, wait!” Larisa nearly choked with outrage. “He’s going to Turkey without you, and you’re supposed to stay home looking after his alcoholic father? Vera, are you out of your mind?”
“What am I supposed to do?” Vera asked tiredly.
“What do you mean? Refuse! Tell him, ‘No, darling. Either we go together, or you stay home and look after your father yourself!’”
“You know Igor. He’s already decided everything.”
“That’s exactly the problem—he decided! What are you, furniture? Doesn’t your opinion count?”
After talking to her friend, Vera felt even worse.
Larisa was right. Why should she sacrifice her time and nerves?
Her father-in-law woke up closer to noon, groaning miserably.
“Verochka, could I have some water?” he moaned.
She brought him water and a headache tablet. Nikolai Petrovich swallowed them and stared at her with cloudy eyes.
“Thanks, sweetheart. You’re a good woman. Unlike that idiot son of mine.”
“Don’t talk about Igor like that,” Vera objected automatically.
“Why not? Isn’t it true?” Her father-in-law sat up with a grimace. “He’s going to Turkey. Told me about it yesterday when I was drunk. Abandoning his old father and going off to enjoy himself.”
“He’s going for work,” Vera said, not even knowing why she was defending her husband.
“For work!” Nikolai Petrovich snorted. “That’s what I used to tell Nina too, may she rest in peace. ‘Work trip, business trip.’ Meanwhile, I’d be going to Sochi with my secretary.”
Vera went cold.
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m telling you exactly how it was.” Her father-in-law got unsteadily to his feet. “Like father, like son, as they say. Where can I smoke around here?”
Vera pointed toward the balcony and remained seated, digesting what she had heard.
No. Igor wasn’t like that.
He couldn’t be.
Although… those “guys-only” trips, the late nights after corporate parties, the new cologne…
That evening Igor came home carrying a huge bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates.
“These are for you, because you’re always so understanding,” he said, kissing her cheek.
“Igor, we need to talk.” Vera set the flowers aside. “About your father.”
“Oh, yes!” he said brightly. “I already spoke to Dad’s neighbor. She’ll give me his things. I’ll bring them tomorrow.”
“Igor, stop!” Vera raised her voice. “I never agreed to look after your father while you’re on vacation!”
Her husband froze, looking surprised.
“What do you mean, you didn’t agree? Vera, we discussed everything yesterday.”
“You discussed it with yourself and then presented me with a done deal!” Vera felt anger rising like a wave. “I didn’t sign up to be anyone’s caregiver!”
“What caregiver? He’s my father!” Igor was becoming angry too. “He’s family! Or does family mean nothing to you?”
“To me?” Vera jumped to her feet. “I’m the one who doesn’t value family? Me, the woman who has carried this entire household on her back for seventeen years? Cooking, washing, cleaning up after all of you?”
“Nobody forces you!” Igor snapped. “You don’t have to cook. We can order food!”
“It’s not about cooking!” Vera struggled not to shout. “It’s about you making every decision for me! You decided you’re going on vacation. You decided your father is going to live here. What about my opinion?”
“I always take your opinion into account,” Igor said, sitting down at the table with deliberate calm. “But sometimes decisions have to be made that not everyone likes. Dad needs help.”
“Then stay here and help him!” Vera blurted out. “Cancel the trip!”
Igor stared at her as if she were insane.
“Are you joking? I can’t cancel it. It’s a work trip! Management already paid for it. The tickets are bought.”
“And am I allowed to refuse the role of caregiver?” Vera crossed her arms.
“Vera, don’t start.” Igor rubbed his temples. “Dad will only be here for two weeks. What’s the big deal? Feed him, make sure he doesn’t drink. He might even help around the house if you ask.”
Vera laughed bitterly.
“Help? Your father, who turned his own apartment into a garbage dump? The man who can’t even wash his own dishes?”
“He’s sick, Vera! He’s been depressed since Mom died!”
“Depression isn’t an excuse to drink yourself into ruin and become a burden on your relatives!” Vera could no longer restrain herself. “And you know what? I’m not going to babysit your alcoholic father while you’re vacationing in Turkey!”
After the argument, Igor demonstratively went to sleep in the living room with his father.
Vera lay in their bedroom staring at the ceiling. Her father-in-law’s words about cheating and apples not falling far from the tree kept circling through her mind.
No. It’s just nonsense from a drunk man, she tried to convince herself.
The next morning, breakfast passed in tense silence.
Her hungover and miserable father-in-law picked at his fried eggs with a fork. Igor deliberately refused to look at his wife.
“You two aren’t very cheerful,” Nikolai Petrovich said, clearing his throat. “Have a fight or something?”
“Everything’s fine, Dad,” Igor muttered.
“Yeah, I can see how fine it is.” His father narrowed his eyes knowingly. “Because of me, I suppose? Vera doesn’t want to deal with me?”
“Nikolai Petrovich…” Vera began.
He interrupted her.
“And she’s right! I wouldn’t want to babysit an alcoholic like me either. I think I’ll go home.”
“You’re not going anywhere,” Igor said firmly. “Vera’s just tired, but she agreed.”
“I did not agree,” Vera said firmly.
Igor shot her a furious look.
“Vera, can I speak to you for a minute?”
He got up from the table.
They went into the hallway. Igor closed the kitchen door and turned toward his wife.
“What are you doing? Making a scene like that in front of Dad?”
“I’m telling the truth. I don’t want to spend two weeks caring for someone who drinks.”
“He’s my father!” Igor hissed. “And he’s ill! Where’s your compassion?”
“And where’s your compassion for me?” Vera shot back. “I’m a person too. I have plans and desires. But you never think about them.”
“What plans? Sitting at home watching TV series?”
Those words hurt more than a slap.
Vera had quit her job five years earlier at Igor’s insistence. He had wanted the apartment always clean and a hot dinner waiting for him.
Now he was using it against her.
“You know what?” Vera’s voice turned icy. “Do whatever you want. Bring your father here. But I’m leaving.”
“And where exactly are you going?” Igor smirked.
“To my mother’s village. She’s been asking me for ages to come help her with the garden.”
“Vera, don’t talk nonsense. You’re not going anywhere.”
“We’ll see.”
She turned around and went into the bedroom.
The following days passed like a cold war. Igor pretended nothing had happened and continued preparing for his trip. His father, sensing the tension, tried to stay out of Vera’s way.
Three days before Igor’s departure, Vera packed a bag.
“What are you doing?” her husband asked from the bedroom doorway.
“Packing to go to Mom’s. I told you.”
“Vera, stop this performance. You’re not going anywhere.”
“Why not?” she asked calmly, continuing to pack.
“Because you’re my wife, and your place is here!”
“My place is wherever I’m respected.” Vera fastened the bag. “My bus leaves the morning after tomorrow. I’ll come back when you return from Turkey.”
“You’re serious?” Igor went pale. “What about Dad?”
“Hire a caregiver. Cancel your trip. Put him in a care facility. There are plenty of options.”
“A caregiver costs money!”
“Turkey costs money too,” Vera replied. “But somehow you found money for your vacation.”
Igor remained silent, fists clenched.
Then he abruptly turned around and stormed out, slamming the door.
That evening Igor’s sister Tatyana called from America. Igor had apparently complained to her.
“Vera, what’s going on? Igor says you’re refusing to help with Dad?”
“Tatyana, I’m refusing to work as an unpaid caregiver for two weeks,” Vera answered calmly.
“But he’s family! How can you?”
“And how can you live in America knowing your father is drinking himself to death?” Vera was tired of the hypocrisy. “Why should I be responsible for solving your family’s problems?”
“Because you’re Igor’s wife!”
“A wife, not a servant. If you’re so worried about your father, take some vacation time, fly here, and care for him yourself.”
Tatyana started indignantly muttering something about plane tickets and work, but Vera had already ended the call.
On the morning Vera was due to leave, Igor made one final attempt.
“Vera, let’s talk calmly.” He sat on the edge of the bed while she checked her bag. “I understand you’re tired. How about this? When I come back, I’ll pay for you to have some spa treatments. Or we can go to a health resort together.”
“Igor, this isn’t about a spa.” Vera looked at her husband. “It’s about respect. You didn’t ask for my opinion. You simply presented me with a decision.”
“I thought you’d understand. It’s an emergency.”
“No. An emergency is something unexpected. Your father has been drinking for three years. You had plenty of time to find a solution.”
“Like what?” Igor looked confused.
“Convince him to get treatment. Find a good residential facility. Hire a permanent caregiver. But you chose the easiest option—dumping everything on me.”
Someone knocked on the door.
Her father-in-law poked his head inside.
“Sorry to interrupt. Vera, can I talk to you?”
She stepped into the hallway.
Nikolai Petrovich looked sober and serious.
“Sweetheart, I heard everything. Don’t fight because of me. I’ll go home.”
“Nikolai Petrovich…”
“No, no, I understand.” He raised his hand. “You’re right. I shouldn’t make myself a burden on you. I have a pension. I’ll manage somehow.”
“Dad, where do you think you’re going?” Igor came out of the bedroom. “You’re not going anywhere.”
“I am, son. No point tormenting Vera. She’s a good woman. You just don’t appreciate her.”
Well, that’s unexpected, Vera thought. Is he actually coming to his senses?
“Dad, we already agreed,” Igor said, bewildered.
“You agreed with yourself,” his father replied, shaking his head. “You never asked Vera. That’s not right. I used to treat your mother the same way—made every decision myself. Then I wondered why she was always unhappy.”
Vera stared at her father-in-law in surprise.
When sober, he turned out to be quite a reasonable man.
“Here’s what we’re going to do, kids,” Nikolai Petrovich continued. “Vera is going to her mother’s to relax, and she’s right to do it. Igor is going to his Turkey, so let him go too. And I’m going home. I probably won’t die in two weeks.”
“But Dad…” Igor began.
“That’s it. It’s decided,” his father cut him off. “Vera, sweetheart, forgive this old fool. And thank you for letting me stay.”
He went off to gather his few belongings.
Igor stood in the middle of the hallway looking as though someone had struck him over the head.
“You see? Even your father understands that I’m right,” Vera said.
“He just… doesn’t want to be a burden,” Igor muttered.
“Or maybe he simply respects other people’s boundaries. Unlike some people.”
An hour later, her father-in-law left in a taxi. Before leaving, he hugged Vera and whispered:
“Don’t let anyone push you around, sweetheart.”
Igor withdrew into himself, demonstratively slamming doors around the apartment.
The next morning Vera stood at the bus stop with her bag. Igor had driven her there in silence and had not even helped carry her luggage.
“You’re really leaving?” he asked as the bus arrived.
“I really am. Have a nice vacation in Turkey.”
Vera put her bag into the luggage compartment.
“Vera, this is ridiculous! Making such a big deal out of nothing!”
“It may be nothing to you, but it’s a matter of principle to me.” She turned toward her husband. “Igor, while you’re away, think about why your alcoholic father turned out to be more considerate than you.”
The bus pulled away.
Vera sat beside the window and sighed with relief.
Two weeks in the village with her mother—peace, fresh air, no drunken father-in-law, and no selfish husband.
Her phone rang almost immediately.
Igor.
She declined the call.
Then a message appeared:
“You’re behaving like a child. I hope you come to your senses and come back.”
Don’t hold your breath, Vera thought as she deleted it.
Her mother welcomed her with open arms.
“Verochka! Finally! You’ve completely forgotten about me!”
“Mom, I was here for New Year’s,” Vera said, hugging her.
“Four months ago! Never mind. Come inside. I baked some pies. I’ll put the kettle on.”
Over tea, Vera told her mother everything.
Her mother listened, shaking her head.
“Oh, Verochka. I always told you Igor was selfish. I could see it even at your wedding.”
“Mom, don’t start.” Vera wearily rubbed her temples.
“What? Isn’t it true? How many times has he considered what you wanted? He always decides everything himself.”
Vera thought about it.
Her mother was right. Igor had always made decisions on his own.
Where they would live. Where they would go on vacation. When they would have children.
Even Vera quitting her job had been his idea.
“I’m just tired, Mom. Tired of always being convenient.”
“And you did the right thing by coming here.” Her mother stroked her hand. “Rest and think. Maybe Igor will finally start using his brain.”
That evening Vera received a message from her father-in-law:
“Vera, I’m home. Everything’s fine. I’m not drinking. Thank you for opening my eyes. Igor could use a little eye-opening too.”
Vera smiled.
Who would have thought her alcoholic father-in-law would become her ally?
The two weeks flew by.
Vera helped her mother in the garden, went mushroom picking, and swam in the river. Igor messaged her during the first few days, then went silent—apparently deciding to punish her by refusing to communicate.
The day before his return, he called.
“Vera, I’m flying back tomorrow. When are you coming home?”
“The day after tomorrow,” she replied calmly.
“Great. I hope you’ve had enough rest and stopped sulking.”
“I wasn’t sulking, Igor. I was defending my boundaries.”
“Fine. We’ll talk when you get home.” Irritation was obvious in his voice. “By the way, Dad called. He says he’s holding up and hasn’t been drinking. See? Everything worked out.”
“Yes, it did,” Vera emphasized. “Without me.”
When Vera returned home, Igor greeted her tanned and well-rested but wearing a sour expression.
“I hope you’re satisfied,” he said instead of hello. “Because of your tantrum, I had to feel embarrassed in front of my colleagues. Everyone kept asking where my wife was.”
“And what did you tell them?” Vera asked calmly as she unpacked.
“That you went to your mother’s. Now they think we’re fighting.”
“Aren’t we?”
Igor sat on the bed and watched his wife.
“Vera, can we not do this? I rested, you rested. Everything ended well.”
“For you, maybe. But I realized something important.” Vera turned toward him. “I’m not going to silently agree with your decisions anymore. I’m going to express my opinion. And if you ever try to make another decision for me, I’ll leave again.”
“Is that an ultimatum?” Igor frowned.
“Those are the new rules. Either you start taking me into consideration, or…”
“Or what?” He stood and crossed his arms.
“Or we start thinking about whether we need this marriage at all,” Vera said firmly.
Igor went pale.
It seemed that the seriousness of the situation had finally reached him.
“You want a divorce because of some trip?”
“Not because of the trip. Because of seventeen years in which my opinion didn’t matter. Because I was always treated like a function—cook, clean, take care of everyone. Because you decided to dump responsibility for your father on me without even asking.”
Igor remained silent, processing her words.
Then he sighed heavily.
“All right. Maybe I really did go too far. What do you suggest?”
“For a start, we talk. We discuss decisions together. And there’s something else.” Vera looked him straight in the eyes. “I want to go back to work.”
“Why? Don’t we have enough money?”
“It’s not about money. I want to be more than just a wife and a housewife. I want a life and fulfillment of my own.”
Igor nodded, although his expression made it clear he did not particularly like the idea.
That evening her father-in-law called.
“Verochka, are you back? Did you have a good rest?”
“Yes, Nikolai Petrovich. How are you?”
“I’m holding up. You know, I’ve been thinking… Maybe I really should go to a health resort? Get some treatment. Otherwise, what am I? Just a burden to everyone.”
“That’s an excellent idea,” Vera said sincerely. “Would you like me to help you find a good one?”
“Thank you, sweetheart. And let Igoryok pay for it. Better than wasting the money in Turkey.”
Vera laughed.
Her father-in-law had definitely become wiser.
A month passed.
Nikolai Petrovich went to a health resort, and Vera found a job at a library not far from home. At first Igor complained, but eventually he got used to it.
He even learned how to heat up his own dinner when his wife came home late.
One evening he said:
“You know, Vera, Dad was right. I was behaving like a complete selfish idiot.”
“Well, well. A revelation,” Vera smiled.
“Don’t laugh. I’m serious. Forgive me.”
“I forgive you. But don’t do it again.”
“I’ll try.” He hugged his wife. “Listen, maybe we really could go somewhere together this summer? Wherever you want.”
“We’ll see.” Vera leaned against her husband. “But let’s discuss everything in advance this time. Together.”
“Agreed,” Igor nodded.
And although Vera knew that changing seventeen years of habits would not be easy, she believed they could do it.
The important thing was that the first step had been taken.
She had defended her right to have an opinion, to be respected, and to have personal space.
And the world had not collapsed.
On the contrary, it had become more honest and more balanced.
Nikolai Petrovich sent them a photograph from the health resort. He was sober, fitter, and smiling.
Underneath it he had written:
“Thank you, sweetheart, for refusing to babysit me. Sometimes a person needs to be left on his own to understand the simplest things.”
Vera saved the photograph.
It became a reminder that sometimes refusing to help can itself be a form of help.
And that self-respect begins with learning how to say no.